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Diet / Weight Loss Jokes

There are 15 Diet / Weight Loss jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Brain fat (Added On: 2017-06-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


No diet will remove
all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without
a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
~George Bernard Shaw


Chocolate cake (Added On: 2017-06-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


An overweight business
associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took
his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favourite
bakery.
One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic chocolate
cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.
"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I
accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window
was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord,
if you want me to have one of those delicious chocolate cakes, let me
have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.' And sure enough,"
he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"


What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton? (Added On: 2017-04-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q:
What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
A: One longs to eat and the other eats too long.


Female Stress Diet (Added On: 2017-03-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


This is a specially
formulated diet, designed to help you cope with the stress that builds
up during the day:
BREAKFAST
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
LUNCH
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a
cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 chocolate biscuit
AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet
1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping
1 jar nutella
DINNER
4 bottles of red wine
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
LATE NIGHT SNACK
Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten
directly from freezer)


Diet coke spoof (Added On: 2017-03-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Every woman's Mr. Right?
Download the Diet
Coke spoof movie.( This movie is Mpeg encoded.)


There are 15 Diet / Weight Loss jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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