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Jewish Jokes

There are 79 Jewish jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

The Jewish chicken (Added On: 2017-06-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q. Why did the Jewish chicken cross the road?




A. To get to the synagogue


The Good Wife (Added On: 2017-06-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying. "I found out from Mrs. Goldberg that you've been having an affair with that chippie secretary in your office. Why would you do that to me? Haven't I always been the good wife? I've cooked for you, raised your children, and I've always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven't I done to make you happy?"



Embarrassed, Morris confesses, "It's true, Sadie, you've been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You don't moan when we have sex!"



"If I moaned when we had sex, you'd stop running around? All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan during sex!"



So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb beneath the sheets.



As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, "Now, Morris, should I moan now?"



"No, not yet."



Morris begins fondling Sadie. "What about now? Should I moan now?" No, I'll tell you when," he says.



He climbs on top of Sophie and begins to have intercourse.



"Is it time for me to moan, Morris?"



"Wait, I'll tell you when."



Moments later, in the heat of passion, seconds before reaching climax, Morris yells, "Now, Sadie, moan! MOAN!"



"OY! You wouldn't believe what a day I had!"


Monicas Love Handles (Added On: 2017-05-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie."Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.


"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."


"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed."


"Poof!"And just like that... her ears were gone.


Older Jewish man (Added On: 2017-04-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.



The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."



They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.



"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."



Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm.



The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!



The Watch (Added On: 2017-04-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Jack has stolen the rabbi's gold watch and afterwards felt guilty about what he did.



After a sleepless night, he went to the rabbi.



"Rabbi, I stole a gold watch."



"But Jack, that's forbidden! You should return it immediately!"



"What shall I do?



"Give it back to the owner."



"Do you want it?"



"No, I said return it to its owner."



"But he doesn't want it." "



"In that case, you can keep it."


There are 79 Jewish jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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