Three Wishes (Added On: 2017-04-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A guy finds a magic lamp and a genie comes out.
He says I'll give you three wishes but, your mother in law gets double of everything you get.
So first he wishes for 1 million dollars so his mother in law gets 2 million dollars. Then he wishes for 1,000 acers of beautiful land so his mother in law gets 2,000 acers of land. For my last wish I want you to beat me half to death. You know what happens.
Three Men and a Genie (Added On: 2017-03-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, ''You will each get one wish.'' The first man wished he was 20 times smarter. The genie made him 20 times smarter. The second man wished he was 30 times smarter. The genie made him 30 times smarter. The last man wished he was 60 times smarter. The genie turned him into a woman.
Fishing (Added On: 2017-02-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Tony and Harold, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favorite lake one day drowning some worms and polishing off some brews.
Suddenly, Tony got what he thought was a nibble.
Reeling it in he found a bottle with a cork in it.
Naturally curious, he uncorked the bottle and a large genie appeared.
The genie said " I will grant you one wish." Tony thought for a second and said " I wish this whole lake was beer."
Poof! His wish came true. The lake was now filled with their favorite brew. Harold looked at Tony in disgust and said " You asshole, now we have to piss in the boat."
Bad Genie (Added On: 2017-01-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,
because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"
A Russian is strolling down (Added On: 2016-11-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want."The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka. I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so please turn my urine into vodka."The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees into it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the
liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, come quickly." She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pees into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and
takes a sip. It is the best vodka that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night.The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to pee in the two glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is still excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one glass from the cupboard so they can have some fun. She gets the glass but asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass tonight?"Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle."
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