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Genie Jokes

There are 20 Genie jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

An Ocean of Beer (Added On: 2017-07-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.



Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.



One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"


Three Wishes (Added On: 2017-04-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A guy finds a magic lamp and a genie comes out.

He says I'll give you three wishes but, your mother in law gets double of everything you get.



So first he wishes for 1 million dollars so his mother in law gets 2 million dollars. Then he wishes for 1,000 acers of beautiful land so his mother in law gets 2,000 acers of land. For my last wish I want you to beat me half to death. You know what happens.


Three Men and a Genie (Added On: 2017-03-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, ''You will each get one wish.'' The first man wished he was 20 times smarter. The genie made him 20 times smarter. The second man wished he was 30 times smarter. The genie made him 30 times smarter. The last man wished he was 60 times smarter. The genie turned him into a woman.


Fishing (Added On: 2017-02-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Tony and Harold, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favorite lake one day drowning some worms and polishing off some brews.


Suddenly, Tony got what he thought was a nibble.


Reeling it in he found a bottle with a cork in it.


Naturally curious, he uncorked the bottle and a large genie appeared.


The genie said " I will grant you one wish." Tony thought for a second and said " I wish this whole lake was beer."


Poof! His wish came true. The lake was now filled with their favorite brew. Harold looked at Tony in disgust and said " You asshole, now we have to piss in the boat."


Bad Genie (Added On: 2017-01-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"



The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"



"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,

because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."



"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."



"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"


There are 20 Genie jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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