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Genie Jokes

There are 22 Genie jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Metaphysical Downsizing (Added On: 2017-10-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and -- oh, surprise -- out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?” The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!” And poof, he was there. Then the government worker -- or, as I like to call him, civil servant -- decided on his third wish, “I don't want to do any work ever again!” and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.


Mother in law (Added On: 2017-10-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man is walking down the beach one day and he finds a lamp. He gives it a rub and out pops a genie. The genie says "Since you have released me from my prison you can have three wishes, but with these wishes there is a catch. Whatever you get your mother-in-law gets double." The man thinks for a minute and says "For my first wish I want fifty million dollars."He thinks for a little while longer and says "For my second wish I want to be adored by the ten most beautiful women in the world." The genie says "You do realize that your mother-in-law gets double of what you just wished for right?" The man nods and says "For my third wish I want to be beaten half to death"


An Ocean of Beer (Added On: 2017-07-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.



Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.



One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"


Three Wishes (Added On: 2017-04-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A guy finds a magic lamp and a genie comes out.

He says I'll give you three wishes but, your mother in law gets double of everything you get.



So first he wishes for 1 million dollars so his mother in law gets 2 million dollars. Then he wishes for 1,000 acers of beautiful land so his mother in law gets 2,000 acers of land. For my last wish I want you to beat me half to death. You know what happens.


Three Men and a Genie (Added On: 2017-03-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, ''You will each get one wish.'' The first man wished he was 20 times smarter. The genie made him 20 times smarter. The second man wished he was 30 times smarter. The genie made him 30 times smarter. The last man wished he was 60 times smarter. The genie turned him into a woman.


There are 22 Genie jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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