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Naughty Jokes

There are 147 Naughty jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Punk (Added On: 2017-12-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man.

The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers.

The old man glares at the young punk for him for the next ten miles, as the bus travels across the city.

Finally, the punk looks across at the old man, and yells, "What are you looking at, old man! Didn't you do anything wild when you were young?"

Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got really drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot... I thought you might be my son."

Difficult words to say when you are drunk. (Added On: 2017-11-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

British Constitution Impossible Words To Say When You Are Drunk: Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer
I'm not interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.

A gender-specific dictionary (Added On: 2017-11-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.
Thingy (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.
Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
Butt (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).
Birthdays & Anniversaries (burth-daze and an-nu-ver-sa-rez)n.
female: A time to reflect on ones life and loves, celebrate with loved ones and exchange gifts.
male: A time to get drunk.
Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.
Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.
Taste (tayst) v.
female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Ebonic vocabulary and spelling (Added On: 2017-11-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Today is "Learning to Spell Ebonics". Mr. Darnell Jackson will help out by putting the words into sentences.

"If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll have more money forclose."

"When I go out at night, I like to have one bitch on one sodomy and another bitcho n de other sodomy."

"I had two Cadillacs, but my girlfrin rectum both."

"I gave my girlfrin the crabs, then the hotels everybody."

"My parole officer told me if I miss disappointment, he gonna send me back toos the big house."

"My favorite girls are Waanda and Yolanda, but I like to keep a couple on decide."

"I had to take my drug test the other day, so my parole officer gives me a paper cup and says, "Here penis."

"I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but had to settle for afford."

"I went to the john at the concert, but the lines were long and I hadda go bad, so da man sez " 'subpoena sink' ".

"I told my buddy Tyrone, manual get yourself in trouble if you keep messin with dat hoe."

"I went to the fight and sat next to Don King - now someone oughta git that catacomb."

"My girlfrin went on vacation and I really mister."

"There's a fine looking bitch living in the apartment undermine."

"I told my buddy Tyrone I liked his sister and wanted to see her and he said I cadaver."

"I was playing cards with my buddy Antonio and I said ' Wadda you got?' He said ' I got an ace high and you're gonna need a paramour to beat me."

"On my way home from the Pistons game the other night, I was involved in a fi car polyp."

"After the police broke down my door last night, they said, 'Darnett, urinal lot a trouble.' "

So the man goes to (Added On: 2017-11-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

So the man goes to the doctor and says "I have a rash on my penis.""Does it burn?" asks the doctor."I don't know," says the man, "I never tried to light it."

There are 147 Naughty jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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