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Doctor Jokes

There are 64 Doctor jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Visiting the doctor (Added On: 2017-11-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An elderly lady came to see a young male doctor with her husband. After the consultation was finished, the elderly man suddenly asked the doctor for a piece of paper and a pen.

Although a strange request, he complied, and the man quickly wrote something, then handed the folded piece of paper to the doctor. He told him to read it as soon as they had left.

The doctor thought that the man perhaps had an embarrassing medical complaint he didn't want to talk about in front of his wife, so the doctor didn't hesitate in obeying the request.

Once the couple had left the room, the doctor sat down and read the piece of paper. It's contents were thus: "Doctor, your fly is undone!"

Redneck Hotel (Added On: 2017-11-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

They had lived together in the backwoods for over fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel.She said to the bellman, "We refuse to settle for such a small room. No windows, no bed, and no air conditioning.""But, madam!", replied the bellman."Don't 'But madam' me," she continued. "You can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel much, and we've never been to the big city, and never spent the night at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager.""Madam," the bellman said, "this isn't your room; this is the elevator!"

Optimist v Pessimist (Added On: 2017-10-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?""Yes, I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

A Hermaphrodite Baby (Added On: 2017-10-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A woman gives birth to a baby. Afterwards, the doctor comes in, and
says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."

The woman sits up in bed and asks, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?
What's wrong?"

The doctor replies, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your
baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

The woman looks a little puzzled, "A hermaphrodite... what's that?"

The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has both the... er...
features... of a male and a female."

The woman turns pale. She exclaims, "Oh my god! You mean it has a
penis and a brain?"

Grandmas Dead (Added On: 2017-09-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

"Do you believe in life after death?", the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir", the employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine."The boss went on,
"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral,
she stopped in to see you".

There are 64 Doctor jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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