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Golf Jokes

There are 36 Golf jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Hole in One (Added On: 2017-10-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement.The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him."God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"


Holy Golfing Guide (Added On: 2017-09-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There were three golfers.One golfer hit the ball and it went in the water. He walked over to the edge and stuck his golf club into the water. The water parted and the golfer hit his ball onto the green.The second golfer hit his ball. It also splashed into the water. The golfer walked onto the water, found his the ball, placed it next to the water hazard and hit it onto the green.As you may have guessed, the first golfer was Moses, and the second golfer was Jesus.The third teed off. The ball soared through the air and it too was headed for the water. However, just before the ball went in the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. As the fish was about to go back into the water, a eagle grabbed the fish and started to fly away. Then, as the eagle flew over the green a big flash of lightning hit the eagle. Well, the eagle dropped the fish and as the fish fell on the green, the ball rolled out of his mouth and into the hole.Then Jesus shouted, "Dad! If you do that again,I'm going to stop inviting you to play golf with us!"


14th hole (Added On: 2017-09-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A keen but unskilled golfer plays the same course every week, and has particular trouble with the water trap on the 14th hole, losing a ball in it every time he plays that hole. One round he decides that this process is too expensive and decides to use an old cut-up ball instead of a good ball. He opens his bag and gets the old ball, tees it up and addresses it. Just as he commences his backswing, a mighty voice comes from on high: 'USE THE NEW BALL...' Figuring any advice from such a source should be worth following, he picks up the old ball and tees up the new one again. He starts his backswing, but once again is interrupted by a voice from the sky: 'TAKE A PRACTICE SWING..' The man steps away from the ball and rehearses his swing. Just as he steps forward to readdress the ball, the voice speaks again: 'USE THE OLD BALL.'


Sunday Golf (Added On: 2017-07-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.



The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.



An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."



God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.



The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him?!"



God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"


Divine Golf (Added On: 2017-06-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One sunny day Jesus, Moses and a small, elderly man were playing golf.



Jesus was the first to tee off and he hit the ball a little left and it ended up in the water hazard. Because it was Jesus, his ball floated and when he got down to the hazard he walked upon the water and hit the ball onto the green.



Moses was the next to tee off, and like Jesus he hit the ball into the water hazard. When he got down to the hazard, he parted the waters and hit the ball onto the green.



The little old man was next, and he too hit into the water hazard. Just then a big fish swallowed the ball and began to swim away. A hawk swooped down and grabbed the fish in its talons and started to fly off. As the hawk passed over the green, it tightened its grip on the fish which caused the ball to pop out of the fish. The ball landed on the green and rolled into cup.



Jesus then turned to the old man and said, "Look Dad, if you're going to play, play fair."


There are 36 Golf jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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