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General / Unsorted Jokes

There are 3200 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Size Matters Not (Added On: 2018-02-15 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


This very old couple were sitting on the porch rocking when suddenly
the old woman knocked the old guy out of his chair and off of the
porch. He got up and dusted himself off and asked her, "Why did you
hit me?" She told him, "It is because your dick is too small!"
He sat back down and then suddenly he knocks her out of her chair and
off of the porch. She asked him, "Why did you hit me?" He replies,
"Because after 55 years you know there's a difference!"


Derrick Hamner


Grab my breasts (Added On: 2018-02-15 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


She goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants
a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't
work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund
because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in
the air and starts screaming!
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the
store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and
asks, "What's wrong?" !
She explains the situation with the toaster.
He tells her that he can't give her a refund because
she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air
and starts screaming,
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am,
why are saying you that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED
WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!


Just Like Mother (Added On: 2018-02-15 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten
married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for
the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone
who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I
bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I
keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just
like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like
your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom.
My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"


Two sperm are swimming along. (Added On: 2018-02-15 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One turns to the other and asks, “Hey, how far to the fallopian tubes?”
The other replies, “Fallopian tubes? Hell, we haven’t even passed the esophagus yet!”


False Teeth (Added On: 2018-02-14 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.

Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."



The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.



The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.



The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."



The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."



The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more paid of false teeth...try them."



The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.



After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.



"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."



The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."


There are 3200 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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