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General / Unsorted Jokes

There are 2616 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Country joke about Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus (Added On: 2017-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus are captured by terrorists.

They are brought up in front of a firing line. The head terrorist asks Billy Ray Cyrus for any last requests. To which Billy replies "Well, I sure would like to sing _Achy Breaky Heart_ jus' one more time!"

The head terrorist says "fair enough".

The head terrorist then asks Garth Brooks the same question. And Garth answers "shot me first!"


Crazy Christmas Carol - Deck The Halls (Added On: 2017-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


My fiancee who is slightly twisted (obvious from her help on the last carol I posted) came up with this earlier this year.

Deck the halls with gasoline.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Light a match and watch them gleam.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Watch the school burn down to ashes.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Aren't you glad you played with matches.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.

See the blazing school before us.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Shoot the band and hang the chorus.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Toast professors like marshmellows.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Aren't they such delicious fellows.
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.


The 9 types of girlfriends (Added On: 2017-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you shouldn't have."
Also Known As: What a Girl, Precious, One of the Boys, Doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, Agreeable, Kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.

Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing no- talent SOB! Can't you see you're making me miserable?"
Also Known As: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady
Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans

Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps."
Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious

The Boss - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms. Know-it-All, Ball and Chain
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, or hair colour?"
Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

Wild Woman - "I've got an idea. Let's get drunk and make love on the front lawn. I've done it before. It's fun!"
Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"
Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
Disadvantages: You will have no friends.

Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"
Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, Unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.

Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I want to make love to you like a crazed weasel."
Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, The One
Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.


Phone Sex With Yo Moms (Added On: 2017-08-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Yo mamma's so nasty, I was havin phone sex with her and I got an ear infection!


Hearing problem (Added On: 2017-08-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One day the teacher asked the class tell me is it

noisier then last year in your neighborhood. 70%



said yes and the other30% said I didn`t hear the



quistion.


There are 2616 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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