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General / Unsorted Jokes

There are 3200 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

If Yoko Ono married Sonny (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married
Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan
Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose
Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King
Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in
show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married
Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we
could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky
short Guy."


Horny Rooster (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.



When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"



So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.



Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.



The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.



Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.



The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."



"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."


Scary! (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A ghost, a vampire and a zombie were off scaring little kids and then went to a big house. A politician came out and the three monsters went off running.


A Taurus' letter to God (Added On: 2018-02-16 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Dear God,

Make me less stubborn-- If you can.

I ain't broke, so why fix me?
No-one can move proverbial Rocks of Gibraltar.
I mean what I say, now leave me alone.


1998 Bumper Stickers (Added On: 2018-02-16 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)



  • Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
  • A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
  • I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  • I'm just driving this way to tick you off.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  • Keep honking, I'm reloading.
  • Hang up and drive.
  • Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
  • Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
  • I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
  • Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
  • If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.



Received from William Conway.


There are 3200 General / Unsorted jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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