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Science Jokes

There are 14 Science jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 4

A geologist's song 02 (Added On: 2017-01-14 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean,
Alas for the spreading of the sea,
Alas for every year that passes by,
Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate,
Causing me to weep and to mourn?
With the plates diverging at such a rate,
To leave me alone and lorn? If only the mantle would my counsel take,
If the Earth would but listen unto me,
I'd say, "Your convection cell remake,
And bring my darling back to me!" So dive you down, you ocean dark,
Part of the mantle be-
Fire you up, you island arc -
Subduct my darling back to me!


Difference between geologist and chemist (Added On: 2016-09-11 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?

A: A chemist will drink anything that is distilled.


Gravity laws (Added On: 2016-06-11 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jenning's Corollary:
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.


Chemist's last words (Added On: 2016-04-25 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


The last words of a chemist:19. And now keep ith constat at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!


Dedicated geologists (Added On: 2016-04-17 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Total immersion geologistsTotal immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs: 1. You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food. 2. You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in: "What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?" "I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?" 3. You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle. 4. You like rock music only because it's called "rock" music. 5. You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel. 6. You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on. 7. You name your children after rocks and minerals. 8. You're not sure if you have children. 9. You view non-geologists as subhuman.


There are 14 Science jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 4

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