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Tasteless Jokes

There are 116 Tasteless jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Old Lady in Court (Added On: 2017-12-30 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Defence Attorney: What is your age?Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.Defence Attorney: Did you know him?Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.Defence Attorney: Why not?Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.Defence Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?Little Old Woman: Hell No, I did not stop him.Defence Attorney: Why not?Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!Defence Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "take me, young man, Take me!"Defence Attorney: Did he take you?Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!


Hiring a Clown (Added On: 2017-12-26 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all.The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air.She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvellous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!"Other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him.” Shouting out he say’s, “HEY WILLIE, FOR $50 WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"


In The Restaurant (Added On: 2017-12-17 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor's. She says, 'Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you suggested. It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravishes me right there on the table.'The doctor says, 'I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.''Naah...' she says, 'that's okay. We wouldn’t go back to that restaurant anyway.'


Barbars Advice (Added On: 2017-12-08 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness. After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices."But you're balder than I am," protested the customer."True," admitted the barber, "but you've gotta admit I've got one hell of a moustache!"


Gorilla Removal (Added On: 2017-12-03 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him." The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua."


There are 116 Tasteless jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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