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Military Jokes

There are 47 Military jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Landing at a hidden military base (Added On: 2017-08-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Polish Inventions (Added On: 2017-07-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A wheelchair with pedals...
Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses...
A submarine with a screen door...
A helicopter with an ejection seat...
A wooden fireplace...
A fireproof match...
A sliding glass door with a peephole...
And a solar-powered flashlight.

Comedians best lines (Added On: 2017-06-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' "A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."' "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you." "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." "The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."'

Marine corps (Added On: 2017-05-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A marine and a sailor are in the bathroom. When they finish, the sailor says,"In the navy, they teach us to wash our hands," and the marine says," In the marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands."

Multilanguage (Added On: 2017-04-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Dorogoi friend!

Mind volnuujet one kysymys. That dvuhkeelsuse story. Mitmelt poolt moshno bõlo lugeda, that kahden kielen oskus vlijajet nehorosho. I have svoi seisukoht tässä kysymyksessä. Nimelt olen juba varasest agest saati tshtõrekielinen.

And vsjo okei. Äiti õpetas estonskit, Soome TV finnskit, keeltekoolis õppisin angliiskit, Soviet Armys russkit.

Yhteistulos on hämmastav - new language!

Kui kõik jõuaks so far, oleks kaikki kunnossa. Igat jazõkki natuke and everybody ponimajet, mida keegi govorit.

Otshevidno, et see võiks olla natshala dlja new international kieli, kymmenen times better tshem esperanto.

Pole ka vaja bojatsa, that estonskii keel hääbub - naoborot, tämä kieli teeks meistä meshdunarodno famous.

Kutsun üles kogu narodi oppimaan tätä keelt. As you can see, on seegi statja fourkeelne, aga koje-shto can ymmärtää predstaviteli tshetõrjoh narodov!

Vot milline kasu! Eesti people - ärge mõshlite enää! Future on tshetõrekieliste päralt!

Jaan-John Kuznetsov

There are 47 Military jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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