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True Stories Jokes

There are 23 True Stories jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: (Added On: 2017-06-07 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festival
in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no
bull was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored
in the head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant, "It's just one bull
against [a town of] a thousand morons."

An elderly lady did her (Added On: 2017-06-07 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car found four
males sitting in the car.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at
them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will
if required...so get out of the car!

The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the
back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and
parked four or five spaces further down.

She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The
sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four very pale
males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman.

No charges were filed.

Looking for Love: "Heartthrob Fabio (Added On: 2017-02-23 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Looking for Love: "Heartthrob Fabio announced he is looking for his dream
woman," says Jay Leno. "He says he wants someone who's funny, secure,
independent and has a good personality. You know what's really sad- the
one woman in Hollywood who fits those criteria is Ellen DeGeneres."

In the 80's, a [local] (Added On: 2016-12-17 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

In the 80's, a [local] radio station had a couple of DJs who claimed
the stealth fighter had landed at the Mt. Joy airport in Mt. Joy,
Iowa. This is used mainly by the weekend warriors, and once a year
it's used for an air show. The authorities were notified after an
estimated 10,000 people came to the airport. They asked the
people why they were out there, and they were given the story about
the stealth fighter.

The authorities then called the FBI, who talked to the FAA, who
called the FBI back. The two DJs got yanked off the air and
suspended for two weeks -- but not before some people at the
airport, armed with cell phones, called into the station, got put on
the air, and said that they couldn't see the thing. The DJs replied
that it was proof the technology worked.

To top it all off: the DJs said the only way that you could see
the plane was to move your head back and fourth -- like a chicken
when it walks -- and try to catch a glimpse out of the corner of
your eye. They stated that if you looked right at it, you would
never see it. This was believed and a majority of the people were
doing just this when the police arrived!

If any of you guys (Added On: 2016-10-11 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about
it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and groom's families for coming.

To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he
wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's
chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told
them to open it.

Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex
with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired
a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched
people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and
said Screw You, he turned to the bride and said Screw You, and then said I'm
out of here.

He got the marriage annulled the next day.

While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out
about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway. His revenge: making
the bride's parents pay for a 300 guest wedding and reception, letting
everyone know exactly what did happen, and trashing the bride's and best
man's reputations in front of friends, family, grandparents, etc.

This is his world, we just live in it.

There are 23 True Stories jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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