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Bar Jokes

There are 165 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Dyslexic (Added On: 2018-01-22 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A dyslexic walks into a bra....

Golden Bar Joke (Added On: 2018-01-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife (who is suspecting
he's cheating on her) questions his whereabouts...

Wife: "Where were you??"

Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden"

Wife: "Sure you were. There's no such place!"

Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even
golden urinals!"

Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%"

So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar.
She's surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides
to call up and check this out for herself...

Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"

Bartender: "Yes it is.."

Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors?"

Bartender: "Yes we do..."

Wife: "Do you have golden floors??"

Bartender: "We have them, too..."

Wife: "What about golden urinals?"

Bartender (speaking away from phone): "Hey Max, I think we have a lead on
the guy that fouled your alto-sax.

Tony Marasco

Ever Seen a Panda with a Gun? (Added On: 2018-01-10 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A panda walks into a bar and orders a packet of nuts. When he's finished, he pulls out a gun and shoots the barman.Later on the police make an enquiry, but noone saw it. Once again the panda comes in along with some regulars. He orders another pack of nuts, eats them, shoots the barman and walks out. The next day when one of the regulars saw the panda he asked why he shot both barmen. The panda took out a dictionary and pointed at panda.It said: "Panda:eats shoots and leaves"

Drunken Fools (Added On: 2017-12-19 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: "You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window." The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The 2nd Man says: "What are you a nut? There is no way in heck that could happen."

1st Man: "No it's true let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."

1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.

2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.'

Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker:

"You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."

Just A Juggaloo (Added On: 2017-12-16 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says."Why do you have all those knives?""They're for my juggling act," the man says."I don't believe you," says the cop."Prove it."So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by."Man," says the first guy."I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

There are 165 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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