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Bar Jokes

There are 165 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Guiness and women (Added On: 2018-02-17 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


This is very upsetting for you guys. Research scientists at Guinness suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption after considering the results of a recent analysis, which had revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed eight pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100 percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.No further testing is planned.


Sexy Timepiece (Added On: 2018-02-13 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that's a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically.” “Rubbish, you're having me on,” says the girl. “No, it's true,” says that guy. “Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on.” The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, “Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on.” “Well, it's wrong,” says the girl, “I do have panties on.” ”Damn,” says the guy, slapping his watch, “it's an hour fast!”


Finding The Car (Added On: 2018-02-04 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. 'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk. 'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies. 'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager.'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!'.


Beer Goggles (Added On: 2018-01-30 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, “Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?” The man replied, “There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!”


Drinking Bet (Added On: 2018-01-26 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."



The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.



The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.



The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?".



The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".


There are 165 Bar jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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