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Love and marriage Jokes

There are 109 Love and marriage jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Negligee For the Wife (Added On: 2018-02-12 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that it his wife's birthday today. At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her. Unfortunately, he realizes that life has been good and she has everything she needs. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife. Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He'll wait in the kitchen. His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom. Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she has never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination. She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all. So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark naked. She calls out, 'Marvin, come out to the hallway and look. 'Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims, '$59 and they didn't even iron it.'

Not getting pregnant (Added On: 2018-02-08 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla."But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded."He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

Soup or Sex? (Added On: 2017-12-26 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A woman, completely fed up with her husbands AOL obsession finally takes matter into her own hands. One night as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length fur coat and she posts herself between her husband and his monitor. She pulls open the jacket and yells, "Time for Super Sex"!!!!!. He ignores her. So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex" "Super Sex" "Super Sex". Finally, he replies, "Ok, I'll take the soup."

Great Trick For Sex (Added On: 2017-12-03 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache", he replies "But I don't have a headache", she states. He replies, "Gotcha!"

Which One To Marry? (Added On: 2017-12-03 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

There once was a man who had three girlfriends, and he couldn’t decide which one to marry. He decided to give five thousand dollars to each woman to see what she would do with it.The first woman bought new clothes for herself. She got an expensive new hairdo, a massage, a facial, a manicure, and a pedicure. She said, I spent the money so that I would look pretty for you because I love you so much.The second woman bought a VCR, a CD player, a set of golf clubs, and a tennis racket and gave them to the man. I used the money to buy you these gifts because I love you, she told him.The third woman invested the money in the stock market and within a short time had doubled her investment. She returned the initial five thousand dollars to the man and reinvested the profit. Im investing in our future because I love you so much, she said.The man carefully considered how each woman had spent the money, and married the woman with the biggest tits.

There are 109 Love and marriage jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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