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Love and marriage Jokes

There are 89 Love and marriage jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

After I'm Gone (Added On: 2017-08-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Fred had not been feeling well, so he went to his long time doctor. The doctor did some tests and walked back into the room. "Fred, I have some bad news for you, and I really don't know how to tell you. I've rerun all the tests and double checked the results. You are going to die of cancer. There is no cure for what you have. You have about 6 to 8 weeks to live." "Well Doc, I am glad you told me straight out though. Now I can get all my personal affairs in order." The doctor felt badly about Fred and the next day was at the gym when he heard two guys talking. "Did you hear about Fred?" "Yeah, I heard that he is dying of AIDS!" This really upset the doctor and he rushed over to a telephone to call Fred. "Hello Fred? Did you understand what I told you yesterday?" "Of course Doc. I am dying of cancer and have 6 to 8 weeks to live." "But I just heard two of your friends say you were dying of AIDS." "Yeah Doc, I know. You see, after I am gone, I don't want anyone screwing my wife!"


Ransom Letter (Added On: 2017-07-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at ten o?clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.

He didn?t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, ?What the hell took you so long? You?re more than two hours late.?

?Hey, give me a break!? whined the yuppie. ?I?m a 27 handicap.?


Tricky Ads (Added On: 2017-07-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A mother had three daughters and at their weddings she asked them to write home and tell her about their married life.

The first wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a single message: 'Maxwell Coffeehouse.' The mother was confused but finally noticed a Maxwell coffee ad, and it said, 'Satisfaction to the last drop...' So the mother was happy.

Then the second daughter got married and after a week she sent home her reply. The message read: 'Rothmans.' So the mother looked for the Rothmans ad, and it said, 'LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE.' And the mother was happy.

Then it was the third one's wedding. The mother was anxious. It took four weeks for a message to come through. When it did the message was simply: 'BRITISH AIRWAYS.'

The mother was so concerned. She frantically went through all the newspapers at home looking for a BA ad. When she found one she fainted.

The ad read: 'TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS.'


Sudden Change In Fashion (Added On: 2017-07-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

"Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been wearing an earring?"

"Er, ever since my wife found it in our bed."


Married Sailor (Added On: 2017-07-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?"

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!" She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica."


There are 89 Love and marriage jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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