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Little Johnny/Jane Jokes

There are 22 Little Johnny/Jane jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Uncle Charlie (Added On: 2017-08-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A teacher was giving class lessons in morals and asked for examples.Little Mary stood up and said,
'My father is a chicken farmer and when we collect the eggs each morning, we take more than one basket, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket.''Very good, Mary,' said the teacher. 'Any more morals?'Little Johnny stands up.
'During the war,' he says, 'my Uncle Charlie was alone in a fox-hole with a rifle and a bottle of whisky.''A whole German battalion was approaching him, so he had a big gulp of the whisky and fired all his bullets at the Germans, killing at least 100. He fell back into the fox-hole, took another large swig of whisky and ran out and used his bayonet and rifle butt to kill all the Germans left.''That's very brave of your uncle,' said the teacher, 'but where's the moral to the story?''Well.' said Johnny, 'You don't f*** around with Uncle Charlie when he's been on the piss.'


Little Johnny Crack-up. (Added On: 2017-06-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.



She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"



The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.

Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"



"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"



Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.



"And where do you think you are going?" she asks.



"Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"


Urinate (Added On: 2017-05-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"


School (Added On: 2017-03-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


The teacher decided she would write a history question on the blackboard every Thursday afternoon, and whoever answered it correctly could take Friday off from school. On the first Thursday she wrote, "Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death?'" No one seemed to know, until a little Japanese boy said, "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" the teacher said. "You can take off tomorrow, and we'll see you Monday."

The next week she wrote on the board, "Who said, 'Fourscore and seven years ago?'" No one seemed to know, until a little Japanese girl said, "Abraham Lincoln, 1865."

"Very good!" the teacher said. "Now you can take off tomorrow, and we'll see you Monday."

Well, the next Thursday, as she was getting ready to write this week's question on the board she said, "Now the last two weeks our history questions have been answered by children who were not even born in this country. You other children should be ashamed of yourselves. Now I want one of you to answer this week's question."

But just as she turned to begin writing, Little Johnny hollered out from the back, "Screw the Japs!"

The teacher turned around and demanded, "Who said that?"

Little Johnny jumped up and said, "Harry Truman, 1945. See ya Monday!"


Making Babies (Added On: 2017-02-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, "Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?" To which the father replies, "They are making a puppy!"

Later that night Johnny wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Johnny asks his father, "Daddy what are you and mommy doing?"

To which the father replies, "Johnny we are making you a little sister."

Johnny thinks for a few moments and responds, "Well, daddy could you roll her over? I'd rather have a puppy!"


There are 22 Little Johnny/Jane jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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