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Doctor Jokes
Baby Hermaphrodite (Added On: 2010-09-06 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong??" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman says, "A hermaphrodite.... what's that???" The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the... er... features...of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis AND a brain?" Heaven Wishes (Added On: 2010-09-06 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) 100 men were waiting at the pearly gates of heaven to go when god appeared. He said "since as you have all lived such good lifes, i will grant you all one wish each!" So, turning to guy No.1 he said "what would you like as your wish?""To be beautiful" was his reply, and so it was done.God asked the question to man 2 and he also said to be beautiful.Then they all were saying it and when it got to guy number 14, number 100 at the back began to giggle ...Guy 28 was saying he wanted to be beautiful when man 100 laughed out loud, and he got a piercing stare from everyone.By the time it got to man 84, the number 100 was rollling on the floor laughing his head off!!! But they all ignored him.After man numero 99 said he wished to be hansome (a bit of variation!) the guy 100 finally got his wish.But first God asked why he was laughing, "no reason" he said; so God shrugged his shoulders and asked him the same question as all the others: "what do you want?"The 100th guy said "To make them all butt-ugly again!" OUCH! (Added On: 2010-09-02 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A young girl was having a tooth pulled and the dentist tells her the usual B.S. "This won't hurt at all" routine before bending over her with the pliers in his hand. He instantly drops the pliers in total panic. "Miss," he said in a weak whimper, "Your grabbing my groin!" "Yes Doctor, I know" she smiled, "and we aren't going to hurt each other, are we?" Nerd Season (Added On: 2010-06-22 Rating : 1.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:"Nerds Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!"He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him."You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?""I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling.""Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked."Why did you do that?""Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license."The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen!He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop."What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver."Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em!" Magic Cream (Added On: 2010-05-16 Rating : 4.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A man had a problem, there was a red ring around his dick. He was really worried so he went to the doctor.The doctor took a good look at it and then after awhile of uming and ering, he said "Well apply this on it and then come and see me in a few days."The man was a bit relieved but was still worried about what would happen to his pride and joy. So that night before bed he applied the cream.Sure enough by the morning the ring had disappeared. He was so happy he went straight to the doctors to tell him the good news.He showed the doctor the ring was gone and the doctor was pleased.The man asked him what the cream was.The doctor replied, "Just lipstick remover."
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