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Blonde Jokes

There are 444 Blonde jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? (Added On: 2017-10-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? Open 24 hours a day.


Blonde and a Microwave (Added On: 2017-10-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A young blonde woman walks into an appliance store and says, ''I'd like to buy that TV'' the employee says ''Sorry I can't sell that TV to blondes.'' So she goes home, dyes her hair red and says ''I'd like to buy that TV.'' The employee says, ''I can't sell that TV to blondes.'' So she dyes her hair black, goes back and says ''I'd like to buy that TV.'' Once again the employee says the same thing. The blonde says ''I've tried to buy that TV 3 times! How did you know I was blonde?'' The employee responds, ''Because thats not a TV, that's a microwave'''


Family Ranch (Added On: 2017-10-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news.She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable."'The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde.""She'll read it very slow."


Even in Disguise (Added On: 2017-10-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk.

"How much is that television set?" she asks.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said.

So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?"
The clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Again, the girl walks out.

She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?"
The clerk again replies, "We don't sell to blondes!"

Well, the girl was kind of suspicious.
She asks carefully, "How do you know I'm a blond?"
The clerk looks at the girl and says...
"Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!"


Blonde Joke Jackpot! (Added On: 2017-10-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.


There are 444 Blonde jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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