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Animal Jokes

There are 167 Animal jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Jewish Dog Does Tricks (Added On: 2017-12-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."

"What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look."

And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.

"Rover," says the man, "daven!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head.

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.

"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, you could make a million dollars off of him!!"

"You speak to him," says the man, "He wants to be a doctor."


A Bunny's Wish (Added On: 2017-12-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. The pair agreed. The bear said he would go first. "I wish...that all the bears in this forest were female." The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned and asked for a helmet. The bear thought that strange but continued. "I wish...that all the bears in this country to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned again and wished for a motorcycle. He jumped on the bike, put on his helmet and started gunning it. The bear looked at the bunny and said, "You must be the stupidest bunny I ever met!" Then he asked for his last wish. "I wish...that all the bears in this world to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned and said, "I wish the bear was gay


The Teacher's Gift (Added On: 2017-12-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)




It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said, '“'ll bet these are flowers!” The girl replied, “How did you know? “Just a lucky guess,” she said.
Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, “Just a lucky guess.'”
Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, “No.” She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no. Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box. He said happily, “A puppy!”


Football Wedding (Added On: 2017-12-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding, and one says, "It's ridiculous! Sure, he's rich, but he's also 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for that kind of wedding in my family."

"Oh, yeah? What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first guy asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other guy laughs and says, "She's just waiting for him to kick off!"


Holy Moley (Added On: 2017-11-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


How Does a dummy kill a mole? He buries it.


There are 167 Animal jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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