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Animal Jokes

There are 134 Animal jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Three Dogs (Added On: 2017-06-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


You might be a redneck if... Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.


The funeral! (Added On: 2017-06-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse
going down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by a
man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200
men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and
asked who was in the first one. "My wife," the man replied.

"I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died."

Dave was taken aback. "And who's in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well."

Dave asked, "Can I borrow your dog?"
"Get in line."


Boy Sees Elephant (Added On: 2017-06-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"

His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk."
"No, at the other end."
"That son is the tail."
"No, mummy, the thing under the elephant."
A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing."

The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?"

"That's the trunk, son" replies the father.
"No at the other end."
"Oh, that is the tail."
"No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation.
"That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?"
"Well mummy said it was nothing," says the boy.
Replies the father: "I tell you, I spoil that woman ..."


Did you hear... (Added On: 2017-05-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.


Egg-Laying (Added On: 2017-05-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they'd break


There are 134 Animal jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

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