The Prune (Added On: 2016-02-28 Rating : 2.50 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A prune strolled into a pub and asked the barman for a drink.
OOPS! I didn't know. (Added On: 2016-02-06 Rating : 3.50 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
In some country house way out in some place lived a old lady, a very old lady. She had this problem see, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't keep from passing gas all the time, but they didn't smell or make a sound. One day she could put up with it no more so she went to see a doctor about this problem. She told the whole story to the doctor and also put in that she had actually pooted fifteen times since she was in the office. The doctor said ahh! i see and gave her some pills. He said take one of these every two hours and you'll be fine. Well about a week later the lady came back hopping mad, she told the doctor not only does she still fart but they smell awful too. The doctor said Ahh yes, now that we cleared up your sinuses it is time to work on your hearing.
Squuezing the Lemon (Added On: 2016-01-15 Rating : 2.50 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
The local restaurant was so sure that its head waiter was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1000 bet: The waiter would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze any more juice from the lemon would win the money.
Senators (Added On: 2016-01-15 Rating : 2.50 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?" The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
Business Man (Added On: 2016-01-15 Rating : 4.58 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.