Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.
Isaiah again (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Isaiah again Knock Knock
The Cesium song 12 (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Seventy Six Neutrons
(Tune, Seventy Six Trombones)Seventy six lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar,
Half a hundred and ten bold protons...Hold it! Hold it!. That's Cesium 131. Half life only about 9.69 days.
Let's go for immortality here. Worth a shot anyway...Seventy Eight Neutrons
(Tune, Seventy Six Trombones)Seventy eight lithe neutrons swayed on Cesium's bar,
Half a hundred and ten bold protons joined the press.
And the eletronettes were a-whirling in duets,
All but one, the singular miss Six S.Seventy eight nubile neutrons writhed in close array,
Half a hundred and ten lusty protons swelled the crowd.
And the electron pairs played blue photonic airs,
From within a shining quantum cloud.There were pions, muons, quarks and other fermions,
Tunneling, tunneling, in a state of partial dress.
'Till an oily bit of water came a wandering,
And miss Six S got in a great big mess.Seventy eight screaming neutrons ran and jammed the door,
Half a hundered and ten brave protons hit the ground.
There was a sky-blue flash, then nothing left but ash,
And the echo of a glorious thundering sound.--- Songs of Cesium #76
A Commandment for C Programmers (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
2. Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness await thee at its end.
smart blonde? (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
Buying a TV (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a tv. After a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman."I want to buy this television," she says. The salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't serve blondes here."She gets mad, leaves and goes home. She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store."I want to buy this television."she says to the salesman, getting the same response: "Sorry miss, we don't serve blondes here."She leaves again, frustrated.She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman."Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I don't want any problems."To which the salesman replies, "Sorry Miss, we don't serve blondes."Fed up with this, she cries, "How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head!" To which the salesman replied, "Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!"
Annoying Boy on Bus (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
3 Men, 3 Wishes (Added On: 2017-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''
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