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A + JOKES

Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.

Walking on Water (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, "Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!""Alrght, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yelled back.The buckeye replied, "Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!


Whats the Pubs Name (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hi stranger, my name is Mike. I'll give you a free beer if you can guess the name of this bar in three tries."The man says, "Thanks...Mike's Place?""Nope.""Mike's Tavern?""No,""Mike's Pub?""No, but here's a free beer anyway. Nobody ever get's it. The joint's name is Sally's Leggs!"That's a good one." the man says and proceeds to get royally ripped.The next morning the man is still drunk and sitting on a curb, when a cop pulls up and ask's him what he is doing there. He responds, "I'm just waiting for Sally's Leggs to open, so I can wet my whistle!"


Argument (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There was a guy telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before. "But it ended," he said, "when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees." "What did she say?" asked the friend. The husband replied, "She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you coward!'"


The Faith Healer (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders."I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible.""I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months.""You must tell me what you did.""I went to a faith healer.""But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."The other woman smiled and whispered,"Try going alone, next time, dearie."


Quarter (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A guy walks into a bar and says to bartender give four shots of your best scotch right now. The bartender pours them up and sets them in front of the man. The man slams back all four of them one right after the other.

Bartender says "man you must be in a hurry "



The man says " you would be to if you had only twenty-five cents."


Bumper Sticker #125 (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.


Don't Do Drugs (Added On: 2016-09-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this





_

/

| | O

_ /



and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."



"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd boy)



"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."



"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"



"Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles) I said (pointing to small circle) this is your asshole before prison.....


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