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A + JOKES

Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Colleen!
Colleen who?
Colleen up
(Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Colleen!
Colleen who?
Colleen up this mess!


Miscellaneous yo mama joke (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.


Leader of the HMO (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?'The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, 'you may go in.'St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her 'you may go in.'St. Peter asked the third man, 'what did you do?' The man hung his head and replied, 'I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied, 'you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'


Q: How many Alaskan (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: How many Alaskan women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Hey Bob, this is Carol ... I think I have a lightbulb out over here."


Scientists say (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Scientists have determined that the average time of intercourse lasts 4 minutes. The average number of strokes is 9 per minute, making the average intercourse 36 strokes long. Since the average length of a penis is about 6 inches, the average girl receives 216 inches of penis or 18 feet of penis per intercourse.If the average girl does it 3 times a week, (that makes 156 times annually) 156 x 18 feet of penis makes 2808 feet, or just over a half mile of penis per year.If a girl starts having sex at 16, and since the average life span of a woman is 75, you could say that you could be getting 2808 feet of penis x 59 years of sex makes 165,672 feet, or 55,224 yards, or a little over 31 miles of penis in your lifetime.Anyone whose getting more than that, well, yer just a big ol slut.


Cierto día, Pepito se estaba (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Cierto día, Pepito se estaba bañando con su padre y le preguntó que qué era eso que le colgaba en la entrepierna; el papá le dijo que era un dragón.

Otro día, se estaba bañando con su mamá y le pregunta que qué era lo que tenía en la entrepierna; la mamá le contestó que un dragón.

Esa noche, Pepito estaba espiando por la cerradura del cuarto de sus papás y llegó su hermana:

"¿Qué haces", le pregunta.

"Estoy viendo una pelea de dragones".

"¿Y quién va ganando?"

"¡Mamá, porque se comió al de papá!"


Manolo y Venancio deciden ir (Added On: 2016-12-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Manolo y Venancio deciden ir a cazar alces al Canadá y contratan a un guía de origen francés para tal efecto. El francés les informa:

"Senogues, yo soy Francsua y mi companego es Piegr. Piegr tocagá un cuegno que emite el sognido del alce hembgra; esto hagrá que el alce macho salga cong sus instintogs segsuales a buscag a la hembgra. Cuando salga, ustegdes dispagan, ¿entendiegon?"

Los tontilandeses, que tienen un sentido de captación agudo, contestan muy emocionados:

"¡Sí! ¡Sí!"

El guía galo ordena:

"¡Pieeeeg, toca el cuegno!"

De inmediato, Pierre toma el cuerno y lo hace sonar:

"¡Mmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!"

En un santiamén, el alce sale a buscar a la hembra y los tontilandeses disparan... pero fallan. El guía insiste:

"Senogues, pog favog haganme caso. Cuando Pieg suene el cuegno; el alce salgdrá con sus instintos segsuales a buscag a la hembgra y entoncegs usteges dispagan, ¿ahogra si entendiegon?"

"¡Sí! ¡Sí, pendejo! ¡Ya entendimos, cabrón!", le responden aún emocionados.

"¡Pieeeeeeeegggg, suena el cuegno!"

"¡Mmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!"

Y otra vez, sale el alce rápidamente y los tontilandeses disparan... y fallan de nuevo.

El francés, enojado, les reprende:

"¡¡Senoges, entiendang, pog favooog, cuango Pieg suegne el cuegno el alce sale gápidamengte con sus instintogs segsuales a buscag a la hembgra y ustedes dispagan!!"

"¡Wi, wi, cabrón, ya déjanos cazar, idiota!"

"Pues que sea la última vegz que se los digo pogque ya van dos vecegs que el pingche alce se coge a Pieg".


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