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A + JOKES

Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.

What did one casket say to the other casket? (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


That you coffin?


How a puppy is better than a man (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


1.Puppies won't ask you if it's the best puppy you've ever had. 2.A puppy always comes to you when you call it. 3.If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with no strings attached. 4.All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever is feed it and not beat it with heavy blunt objects. 5.Puppies love you unconditionally. 6.It's OK if your PUPPY gets fleas from another puppy. 7.You can put a puppy on a leash and snap it back if it tries to sniff other puppies. 8.Your puppy will never leave you for your roommate, best friend, or someone with bigger breasts/more money/better looks/a better body/etc. 9.Puppies urinating in the front lawn is normal. 10.Puppies don't "bite the hand that feeds them". 11.Puppies are easier to train to do simple tasks. 12.A puppy never conspires with other puppies to play with your mind.13.Puppies never leave en masse to check out puppies in the other room. 14.A puppy won't give you a lot of backtalk for no apparent reason. 15.You can train your puppy to do tricks--like play dead "all day". 16.If you have a neighbor you don't like, you won't be as embarassed if your PUPPY poops all over his lawn. 17.Puppies don't even pretend to know how to fix whatever they break.18.Puppies won't get jealous of all of your male friends. 19.Neutering your boyfriend, as practical as it may seem, is harder to justify. 20.A PUPPY's face in the toilet bowl is less alarming. 21.Puppies don't leave the toilet seat up. 22.Puppies don't have to show other puppies that it's "the puppy of its house". 23.Puppies attract men; boyfriends drive them away. 24.Puppies don't do dishes, but at least they attempt to lick their own plate clean. 25.Puppies won't ask "Why don't you look like THAT?" when watching TV. 26.Puppies actually look attractive with a full body of hair. 27.Puppies don't mind staying home with the kids. 28.Because puppies can't read m


Three Daughters and Their Names (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A man has three daughters between the ages of 3 and 7.
The oldest daughter comes up to the father and asks, "Dad, why am I named Rose?"The father responds by saying "Because on the day you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."The next day the middle daughter asked the father, "Daddy, why am I called Daisy?"The father again responded by saying "Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."An hour went by and the youngest daughter was screaming gibberish.The father looked up at her and yelled, "Shut up, Brick!"


What an idiot! (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott.

They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop for
the
night. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a nice
clear,
wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothing
interesting around, only trees.

They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area,
right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to saty there because
there was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars could
help
to put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500
meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them.

SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, and
stepped onto the highway. Scott was mystified, and wanted to sleep right
smack dab in the middle of the highway. It was interesting, and he wanted
to look at all the different liscence plates, as they drove by. Joe and
Rich were so upset, because, obviously, that was the LAST place that they
wanted to sleep in! But, they were too tired to argue, so they set up
their tent in the middle of the highway and went to sleep.

They slept soundly through the night, but were awaked a couple of times
by
the sound of cars beeping, and crashing. The next morning, they awoke
early, and noticed a huge pileup of cars right off the highway, in the
spot they had earlier chosen. Feeling proud, Scott said:

"See, guys? Imagine what would of happened if we slept there last night!"


Female Lawyer (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?


A: Lipstick


Taste It (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.

As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this, "she asked.

"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"


The Difference Is (Added On: 2017-05-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?

A hematologist pricks your finger.


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