A + Jokes - Hilarious Jokes

JOKES

Home


Animal Jokes(170)

Answering Machine Jokes(1)

Aviation Jokes(29)

Bar Jokes(165)

Blind Jokes(2)

Blonde Jokes(521)

Bumper Stickers Jokes(1)

Business Jokes(220)

Car Bumpers Jokes(6)

Celebrity Jokes(14)

Chistes chistosos Jokes(617)

College Jokes(5)

Computer Jokes(134)

Crazy Jokes(5)

Daily Jokes(5)

Diet / Weight Loss Jokes(18)

Doctor Jokes(71)

English Jokes(1)

Ethnic Jokes(233)

Famous Quotes Jokes(2)

Farmer Jokes(1)

Food Jokes(5)

Foul Language Jokes(232)

Funny Ads Jokes(1)

Funny signs Jokes(5)

Gender humor Jokes(29)

General / Unsorted Jokes(3200)

Genie Jokes(24)

Golf Jokes(42)

Guy Jokes(9)

Idiots Jokes(16)

In the news Jokes(3)

Insults Jokes(20)

Jewish Jokes(95)

Kids Jokes(7)

Knock Knock Jokes(4)

Knock-knock Jokes(169)

Lawyer Jokes(112)

Lightbulb Jokes(213)

Little Johnny/Jane Jokes(24)

Love and marriage Jokes(109)

Math Jokes(17)

Medical Jokes(18)

Military Jokes(57)

Miscellaneous Jokes(16)

Music Jokes(30)

Naughty Jokes(156)

Office Jokes(22)

One Liners Jokes(259)

Police Jokes(29)

Political Jokes(231)

Pun Fun Jokes(13)

Redneck Jokes(179)

Religious Jokes(127)

Riddles Jokes(14)

School Jokes(77)

Science Jokes(14)

Seasonal / Holiday Jokes(127)

Sports Jokes(24)

Stupid Jokes(6)

Tasteless Jokes(116)

Terms and definitions Jokes(50)

Thoughts Jokes(16)

Top Lists Jokes(31)

Travel Jokes(7)

True Stories Jokes(23)

Wedding Jokes(6)

Weekly Jokes(1)

Woman Jokes(10)

Work Jokes(14)

Yo Mama Jokes(135)
Other Sites

Link To Us

FUNNY VIDEOS

Funny Pictures

illusion Pictures

Funny Videos

FUNNY COMICS

Daily Comics

Weekly Comics

FREE STUFF

Free Stuff

Freebie 411

JOKE PARTNERS

Funny Jokes

Messenger Emotions

Top 20

Top Humor

More Jokes Top Sites

HELP US GROW

Submit A Joke

Submit A Picture

WEBMASTERS

Add Your Site

Check Stats

Edit Profile

A + JOKES

Welcome to A + Jokes - Your online resource for funny and hilarious jokes. See the 5 latest jokes added here. Browse the menu on the left for category based jokes. Check out the comic strip section where you can find many cartoons updated on a daily basis and weekly basis.

Shame & Glory (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one," This is for the glory."She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one, "This is for the glory." She is about to order two more shots when the bartender stops her, "Ma'am, I was just wondering...what's this about shame and glory?" "Well," she replies, "I like to do my housework naked. But when I bent over to pick something up, my great dane mounted me from behind." "That must be the shame," the bartender said."No, that was the glory. The shame is when we got locked up and he dragged me around the front yard for thirty minutes."


If Yoko Ono married Sonny (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married
Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan
Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose
Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King
Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener
mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in
show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married
Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we
could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky
short Guy."


Dos argentinos llegan a Lima (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Dos argentinos llegan a Lima un día domingo, y se van a misa. El párroco los escucha conversando, y comienza su misa:

"Hermanos... ustedes saben que María Magdalena era una ramera, una pécora, la única que hizo dudar a nuestro señor Jesucristo... pues bien, ¡María Magdalena era argentina!"

Los dos argentinos se miraron indignados y decidieron regresar el siguiente domingo a misa. Ese día, el párroco empieza su sermón:

"Hermanos... cuando nuestro señor Jesucristo fue acusado, Poncio Pilatos decidió condenarlo y se lavó las manos... pues bien, ¡Poncio Pilatos era argentino!"

Irritados, los dos argentinos se fueron a buscar al obispo y le contaron lo sucedido. Este aseguró que reprendería al cura ese mismo día. Satisfechos, los argentinos regresaron nuevamente a misa, y se sentaron en primera fila, esperando:

"Hermanos...", dijo el cura. "Hoy vamos a hablar de la última cena... Jesús al saberse traicionado les dijo a sus apóstoles: Yo sé que uno de ustedes me traicionará mañana... uno de ustedes que hoy come conmigo me venderá por monedas de plata... y ese uno ¡eres tú, Judas! Entonces Judas se paró y dijo: ¡Che Jesús, cada vez que tomás te la agarrás conmigo!"


Un joven se sube a (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Un joven se sube a un tren, y entra en un camarote en el que viajaban un señor con aspecto muy respetable acompañado de su hija de 18 años, y en el asiento de enfrente un cadete.

El joven se sienta junto a la hija y se quedan todos muy callados mientras parte el tren. Más tarde en el viaje, pasan por un túnel y quedan en absoluta oscuridad, cuando se oye un beso seguido por un fuerte golpe.

Al salir del túnel, el cadete tiene un ojo totalmente amoratado.

El padre lo ve y piensa: "Seguro que el cadete trató de besar a mi hija, se equivocó, besó al joven de al lado, y éste le propinó tremendo golpe".

La hija lo ve y piensa: "Seguro que el joven de mi lado trató de besarme, se equivocó, besó a mi padre y él se confundió y le pego tremendo golpe al cadete".

El cadete, lastimado pero sin animarse a decir nada, piensa: "Seguro que el joven trató de besar a la chica, y ella se confundió y me golpeó a mí".

El joven sin expresión en el rostro piensa: "En el próximo túnel me vuelvo a besar la mano y le igualo el otro ojo".


Una consultora informática, que estaba (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


Una consultora informática, que estaba ayudando a un hombre a configurar su ordenador, le pregunta qué palabra le gustaría utilizar como contraseña para entrar en su sistema. Con la intención de ponerla en una situación embarazosa, éste le dice que escriba PENE con mayúsculas.

Ella, sin inmutarse ni decir una palabra, introduce la contraseña. De pronto, la chica casi se desternilla de la risa ante la respuesta del ordenador:

"Contraseña rechazada. No es suficientemente larga".


Horny Rooster (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.



When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"



So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.



Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.



The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.



Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.



The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."



"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."


Scary! (Added On: 2018-02-18 Rating : 2.00 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)


A ghost, a vampire and a zombie were off scaring little kids and then went to a big house. A politician came out and the three monsters went off running.


Other Sites

Freebie 411Free Stuff Directory

List Your Site Here

© Copyright 2001-2006 Lavee LLC. All rights reserved.   Disclaimer    Read our Privacy Policy